Romania

It seems my next trip will be to Romania. I will celebrate Christmas in the land of vampires. And of Bille! :-)

Anyone who has any nice tips on things to do and see in Bucharest and surroundings in the middle of winter, please leave a comment here!

Travelling without moving

If you can not travel for real, there are ways you can pretend you are travelling. Today I suddenly found myself in southern France, racing the Tour de France! And still I never left Stockholm; I just went to my local fitness club! I went there to join a body combat class, but the class turned out to be full and I was suggested to join a spinning class instead. It was a long time ago since I did any spinning, but why not… Once there I found out the class was called Tour de France and the idea is that the class follows a different section of the real race every time. Unfortunately for me, this; the sixteenth section supposedly was the toughest, uphill, uphill, uphill. Oh my God, I am not sure I will be able to get out of bed tomorrow. But, hey, I have been to France on a Monday evening…

Another way of travelling without moving is of course to let someone else do the travelling for you. This weekend I watched the film; Borat!: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. All I can say is; go and see and have a good laugh! It is hilarious! If you have read the travel guide; Molvania, A Land Untouched by Modern Dentistry, and liked it, you will love this movie. If you haven’t read the book or watched the film, you have a lot to look forward to!

Tuesday in November

Ahhhh!!! It is cold, wet and DARK! I can't stand it! Please anyone, take me away from here!

Why must autumn in Sweden be so depressing?!

But, dear friends, in just another two days it will be the first "Tuesday in November" of the year! Something we really have to celebrate!

For those of you who might not yet be familiar with the concept of "Tuesday in November", I can just inform you that this is a tradition to celebrate and cherish. If you have ever experienced November in Sweden or any other northern country (maybe November is not great in a lot of places) you know it is not the most enjoyable time of the year. And it is hard to think of a more depressing day than a Tuesday in November. So, what to do about it?! Of course you should turn the whole thing around! Make something nice of it! Gather your friends around a nice meal and some wine, go to the movies or the theatre, make a afternoon visit to a spa or just do anything that you like and will make you feel better and get you through the month. That way you might even start looking forward to Tuesday in November!

Climatic travels

Last week I made a short guest appearance at Circus Belgrade again. It was good fun to see all the old friends and familiar (and new) places. Unfortunately a party-induced cold prevented me from fulfilling my promise to get very drunk, behave badly and cause a scandal before I went back, but nevertheless it was fun. Worse even was that the cold made me stop the running at Ada, before finishing the whole lap! I am sorry, Wout! That will never happen again! (What was your excuse Sepp?)

What did not improve my health situation was the climatic travelling this trip also meant. Having recently come from Africa to Sweden I had barely got myself adjusted to the cool autumn temperatures when I landed in a sunny Belgrade and 27 degrees. Guess whether the winter clothes I brought felt appropriate or not!

During my stay there it got a bit colder, but that still didn’t prepare me for what I met coming back to Sweden again. Snowstorm with bad traffic chaos! I wasn’t the only one however that was taken by surprise. It is funny, but in a country that every year suffers long, cold winters with lot of snow, people and authorities are still taken by surprise when the snow comes. This time I understand that the meteorologists had even said it would come now. We used to laugh at reports of snow in countries like Spain or Italy, where two centimetres of snow caused chaos and complete standstill, but we are almost there too now!

Kinky Philippinos or simply tasty cakes?

On another walk trough Makati I suddenly saw this sign at a bakery.



Looking in through the window I realised why this bakery was called Kink(y) Cake. I just had to go in and ask if I could take some pictures. I wonder what they taste like!

The Streets of Manila

Ok, as I started this blog after I left Manila; there is not much about Manila here. Now I have decided that there is no reason why I can not write a little about Manila now, or at least publish a few pictures.

Some of you might know about my interest in funny signs and that I like to take pictures of signs that I see and somehow find funny. This sign I found along one of the bigger streets in my area of Manila, Makati City.


The funny thing about it is that this is the way the sidewalks normally looked like.


Absolutely not made for people!

The Normal life

If there is anyone who still checks this site and wonder what has happened to me, I can inform you that I have started writing about my "normal" life on another blog. Somehow it did not feel right to write about it under the name Travels 06..

So if you are interested check: www.goodrun-normallife.blogspot.com

Problems of the developed world

I have now been back in Sweden two days and already feel terribly restless. But I will have to start get my life going again. New challenges wait around every corner! Or..?? Not..??

Being back I have confirmed something I have been suspecting for some time. For the first time in my adult life I have gained weight!! Not too many kilos but I feel really bad about it. Not about the kilos themselves, they will soon go away once I am back to normal life, but I feel sincerely bad about gaining weight in an extremely poor country!

But maybe that is symptomatic. If overweight is a welfare problem of the developed world it is telling that I gain weight when I am relatively rich. It is not as if I cannot afford to eat in Sweden, but what I think makes the difference, is that in Sweden I walk much more and thereby get more exercise without thinking of it. In Harare I always drove a car wherever I went. In Sweden I don’t afford having a car but take the train, bus or underground, which automatically mean I have to walk more. And in Harare people always said it is not safe to walk, so, hence the extra kilos.

I went jogging yesterday and I was hoping that I would feel very light and fit after having had some high altitude training (Harare is on 1500 m), but shame on me… I felt very unfit. Now I will have to go to town and buy new jogging shoes, the old ones I left in Harare. I am sure that will make the jogging feel much easier..:-)

The other side...

This far I have mostly written about how nice Zimbabwe and Harare are, and it is indeed a very beautiful and nice place to be and the people are very friendly. But does that mean that life is rosy in Zimbabwe? No unfortunately not, and here comes something from the other side.

Of course you hear a lot about how dangerous Harare can be and how careful you must be and how you should act to avoid robbery and car-jacking etc, but I must say I never felt afraid or un-secure. I mean, how could you? With two guards 24-7, high walls with electric fences on top, three dogs and two separate alarm systems. To me that sometimes felt even a little bit over exaggerated, but who am I to tell? Things do happen, and I guess all this equipment is there for a reason. And all the instructions about how you should avoid stopping at red-light at night if possible and always keep your handbag under your legs while driving probably also all make sense, not only in Harare. The wife of one of my colleagues got robbed during my time there and one of my local colleagues was robbed twice on his way home from work. But things like that happen in other countries too (although we had some suspicion that it might have something to do with the fact that he used to work for a regime critical news paper). Of course you should be careful, don’t do stupid things and keep an eye out, but I refuse to go around and feel afraid. That is such an impediment on my life. If I would have stayed longer in Harare I for sure would have moved around more and more.

One reason for the robberies etc is of course that there are a lot of poor people, who see no other way of getting the things they want. And there are indeed poor people in Zimbabwe. However I find it difficult to relate poverty. Someone recently asked me if there aren’t more poor people in Manila and if it isn’t poorer there. I can’t really tell. Of course there are statistics and measures of poverty that will provide an answer, but how do you compare poverty? In numbers there are probably more poor people in Manila as there simply are more people. To me the poor in Manila seems to have it worse partly because the density and the dirt they live in. The shanty towns often climb the banks of rivers and canals that are absolutely full of garbage and filth as they work as both water supply and sewage. Due to the heat and the humidity it is often very smelly and flies aboundant. In Zimbabwe people are not that crowded and the climate somehow seem more endurable if you only live in a hut, but how can I tell if it is better to have to walk long ways and always worry about how to get water in the dry season compared to living right by the water even if it is fetid and smelly? I really can’t tell! If you only get to eat some rice or sadza every day, probably does not make much of a difference. Some of the “shanty town areas” in Harare were simply destroyed last year. The government decided to drive the inhabitants out to the country side, without providing then with any alternative housing.

When talking about the political system and the economy I am a little more optimistic about the Philippines. Of course you can have serious doubts about the level of democracy and fairness of the elections and the political system there as well, and the corruption is wide spread, but still things seem to work somehow and there is some hope. When regarding things in Zimbabwe I feel much more pessimistic.

The Mugabe government has pushed the country so far down a negative spiral and you really can’t see much light in the tunnel. For us, diplomats and others with access to foreign exchange things are pretty ok. Of course you get annoyed with the constant power cuts. Even more irritating are the water cuts, which recently have gotten worse. The water authority simply don’t have foreign currency enough to purchase the chemicals needed for purification or spare parts for the waterworks, which mean they can not produce sufficient amounts of water. And the quality of the water produced is getting worse and worse. Another nuisance is the constant fuel shortage. Again, as a foreign mission we are lucky and get what we need, but for others there is a big problem. This is also mostly due to lack of foreign currency. When there is some fuel, people of course take advantage of that and sell it to really high prices. The state owned gas stations, which are forced to sell to controlled prices, gather long queues as long as there is still some fuel. Whenever you go for a longer drive you have to think of bringing full jerry cans with sufficient fuel, as you can never be sure that you will be able to fill up along the road.

As the cost of transport soars, so do other prices. This last week the supply of bread in Harare stopped. As far as I found out that is because the price of bread is fixed, but the costs for making it has increased so much it is no longer possible to bake if you can not raise the price. So for the last week there has simply not been any bread in the stores. This is of course a huge problem for the poorest as bread; along with the sadza is their staple food. Prices are constantly rising, the inflation is the highest in the world at over 1200%, but wages do not follow (for a simple example the price of a Snickers bar rose from 460$ to 780$ in one week!). For us with foreign currency it is still ok, but I don’t understand how the average locals manage! The Zim-dollar is pegged against the USD at a heavily overvalued rate of 250, this of course creates a huge parallel market (they don’t even call it black market any more). The rate at the parallel market is between two and four times the official rate. Unfortunately the prices follow the parallel rate, which makes things very expensive.

The low wages is one of the main things the trade unions wanted to protest against in their planned demonstration I wrote about earlier. As I suspected the demonstration never started because the police hit first. Some of the trade union leaders were arrested and some of then pretty badly beaten. This is probably one reason why people don’t complain and protest more, they are afraid. Still I was surprised how often people were complaining about the system and the economy, but of course that was in a “safe” surrounding and I was regarded a safe person to talk to, I guess under other circumstances things are different and people more afraid.

My departure from Harare was spiced by the coincidence that the president was arriving at the same time. He had been to a meeting with the Non-Aligned Movement in Cuba and was now expected back. My driver told me immediately when we saw all the people at the airport. The driver explained that the people are being paid and driven into town in busses from the provinces to greet the president on arrival, “the poor people do not understand what they are doing” he said. Many of them were sporting Zimbabwean flags and wearing t-shirts with “Vote Zanu-PF” print, some women even wore dresses made out of ZANU-PF printed fabric with Mugabe’s picture on it.

I had just been reading a book called African Tears (can be recommended!), written by a white Zimbabwean farmer woman who had had her farm confiscated in 2000 and telling her story about that. In the book she was also describing how the running up to the elections in 2000 was rigged. There was a lot of paying and bussing and forcing of people to attend ZANU-rallies. So, nothing much has changed!

Holiday!!

Back from an absolutely fantastic holiday! Vic Falls are great!!!! Often when you see a very well known sight you can get a bit disappointed. Not by the Victoria Falls!! They are absolutely wonderful. Impressive and very beautiful!

Me at the falls, standing on the Zimbabwean side looking over to Zambia.



I went rafting at the Zambezi, which was also absolutely great. It can not be compared to the Ibar or Tara. These rapids are wild! On the Tara and Ibar I was never worried about falling into the water, here that is a constant threat. I was flushed from my place on the raft several times, but fortunately always down into the raft. Two other peoples in our raft were not as lucky, they were flushed over board, one of them a guide! We managed to pick them up though. All three rafts that went out together flipped, one twice. It was actually rather scary. It went so fast I did not understand what happened. All of a sudden I just found my self deep deep under water. The water was whirling around me and me with it. I had no idea what was up or down. I just decided to relax and that I would eventually float up to the surface. And I did. Once up, I was immediately flushed by next wave and the next and the next…. I could not see the raft anywhere and started to get prepared to be a “long swimmer”. After yet another couple of waves I caught a glimpse of our raft floating up-side-down not too far away and I decided to try to get there. Some of my fellow crew members were already sitting on top of the raft and once I got there, one of the guides pulled me up and we were all safe and sound. A bit scary, but that is part of the thrill.

Unfortunately I got back too late from the rafting so I missed my planned bunji jump, which I had already booked and paid for (got the money back though). I am really disappointed about that, but that is another reason to go back there! Anyway, the flight Harare-Vic falls- Harare with Air Zimbabwe is also somewhat of a thrill and also heightens your adrenaline!


The Zambezi, somewhere between rapid no 3 and 4 (I think).
The safari at Hwange was also absolutely great! Unfortunately we did not see any lions or cheetahs, but almost all other animals. We also got to sneak up pretty close to buffaloes and elephants. Great!
I was even lucky enough to get a private safari with a very knowledgeable guide. Very interesting! And yes! I admit I was fooled to believe he actually tasted the buffalo dung. It was a quite interesting experience to come out of the bathroom before going to bed and see a big heard of elephants passing by out side the door of the hut, maybe just 20-30 metres away. I woke up several times during the night, looked out and thought “aha, more elephants”. At one time I thought I saw a rhino, but as they are much rarer and more difficult to see, I did not take a closer look but just decided it was just another elephant and went back to sleep. Telling the guides about it the morning after they said it could very well have been a rhino as they had seen foot prints of one in the neighbourhood. So they scolded me for not getting up and taking a closer look.

It turned out to be easier to get close to the crocodile while we were still in the jeep. Not because we were afraid, but because the croc was afaid of us. That is safari with Crocodile Dundee. ;-)

Elephant close-up. We were on the ground, between the thirsty elephant and the water hole.

Anyway, I got absolutely fascinated by the bush and discovered I might not be just all that city girl I thought I was. :-) I am already planning my next visit!

Turning blue

Oh! I am not talking about me, although I indeed feel a bit sad about leaving Harare, but that seems to be the story of my life; to leave a place exactly when I really start to like the place. And it is no reference to the elections in Sweden this coming Sunday either. It is simply a description of the city I am still living in.

Supposedly Harare has the highest concentration of jacarandas in the world. No matter whether that is true or not, there are a lot of them, and they are just about to blossom, meaning that whole streets, parks and gardens are full of clear blue trees. Some of them also covered with blood red or purple bougainvilleas. The whole town is turning blue. Absolutely fabulously beautiful!




Today is my last day at work here. And the beginning of the rest of my life! I will start by catching up with the local running club this afternoon, maybe some party this weekend or some trip outside of town, maybe a charity-run on Sunday (have to live up to my goodrun name!) and then on Monday I am off to Victoria Falls. That is if the old Chinese built air-planes of Air Zimbabwe are still flying. After Vic Falls I am off to Hwange for some safari. Next weekend back in Harare and on Monday 25 I am off to Sweden again! No-one knows what will happen after that. I just quit my job in Stockholm, which means I am for hire!!!

So, maybe there will not be so much news here for a while as I will be in the wilderness! But I will catch up and keep you informed whenever I can.

Big Hugs to you all!

On the streets of Harare

The Balkans in Harare!





Why carrying a back pack on your back, when you can carry it on your head!?

A none-event

There has been a certain tension about today. The trade union ZCTU had announced that they would stage a big demonstration, between 12 and 14 o'clock today. The demonstration was not approved of by the authorities and the police had announced they would be "prepared".

I noticed this morning on my way to work that the police controlled veihcles going into town. I don't have to drive through the centre, but still had to wait a long time to get to the crossing where I turn right and the cars going downtown go straight.

To check out if there was anything happening I, two colleagues and a driwer went downtown and just came back. There was really nothing to be seen. Ok, some of the main streets were blocked and there were some armed military police standing on the street corners, but apart from that, all quiet. That was quite strange as there has been a lot of discussion about this demonstration. Maybe they did not even make it to their starting point...

Colonial Style

It is interesting to see what an imprint a colonial power can leave on it’s colonies. I am not planning to go into deep political analysis here, even if that also is very interesting, there are others who are far better suited for that than I. What I am thinking of here are those small everyday things that somehow gives a place it’s character.

Despite all the efforts to get rid of the colonial past and British influence as a result of Mugabe’s fixation with Britain and especially Tony Blair (& co) as the root of all evil that has inflicted the country, there are still a lot of British remnants. I am surprised how many extremely British sounding street names there are in Harare. Of course the most important streets in the city centre have names like: Robert Mugabe Road, Julius Nyerere Way and Samora Machel Avenue, but apart from that most streets have really British names, such as: King George Road, Sussex Road, Buckingham Rd. and Montgomery Avenue and there are boroughs with names as Belgravia and Marlborough. Other British “left overs” are of course oddeties like the left side traffic, the annoying three prong plugs and sockets and an odd interest for strange sports like cricket. A good thing is that you can always get a cup of decent tea, with sugar and milk!

This weekend however almost got an overdose of “britishness”. It started on Sunday morning when I was at the sports club for my tennis lession. I thought I heard bagpipes, but thought that can not be, not there, nine o’clock on a Sunday morning! But indeed! When I went to the car I saw three men, two in kilts, playing bagpipe and drums at the parking lot. It felt a bit surreal.

In the afternoon I went to the horse races at Borrowdale Park. Ok, it was not the Ascot, but with some amount of imagination you could see the hats and the jackets! There I chatted to an old man, who said he had been going to the races since the opening in 1957. And some of the people I meet at the Harare Hash on Monday was also rather interesting... Sometimes it feels like going back in time.

It has been a busy week, so therefore not so many news on the blog. Maybe I will have plenty of time updating it tomorrow. I will have to work a couple of hours tomorrow as we are open for voters who whish to come and cast their votes for the upcoming elections. As the Swedish community is not that big here in Harare, I don’t expect it to be too busy, so I think I will have to find other ways to kill time.

This also means I will stay in Harare this weekend and will try to have a closer look at the place. Tonight I have an appointment that sounds as a scene from a bad spy movie. I am meeting in a club with a total stranger, only known to me by his code name “Tinkerbell”…. exciting!

Well, time to leave the office! Time flies! Now I only have one more week to work here and then one week of holiday before I leave Zimbabwe. I am still not sure what to do after that, so if anyone of you who might read this would have any suggestions for a nice job and a nice appartment, you are more than welcome to let me know!

Have a nice weekend!

Safari

Ok, I am back from the wilderness! Survived the Bush!
Actually had a very nice and relaxing weekend. The most dangerous part was probably the road to the lodge and the most scary animal was the ones I had in my hut.

The way there was really not that bad actually. The lodge is just 70 km outside Harare, along the highway to Bulawayo so it was very ok. But still you get a little bit worried when you all of a sudden see a warning sign with the text “Deadly Hazard” on it, whitout telling you, where, when and what to expect… Well, I still don’t know..

There are also other sings that makes you wonder. For example, almost all busses have this interesting sign on the back:

The text reads: Driver instructed to stop at rail crossing.
Don't know if that is supposed to make you feel safe...





Once arrived at the logde I was informed about Geoffry the Giraffe. He was born and raised at the lodge, but was now living with his mates in the bush, but sometimes he remembers his childhood and returns to the lodge. “He is nice, but sometimes he chases people and he can kick hard, so if you can avoid him it is better to do that!” Ok, but what if I cannot?? How do you treat an attacking giraffe!?!?

Geoffery the Giraffe



At the lodge I did some canoeing, horse riding and safari by car. Very nice! I saw zebras, impalas, giraffes (not only Geoffry), wilderbeasts and some other animals. They don’t have carnivores there, except for some lions that they keep in captivity and crocodiles they have for breeding. Therefore it was very safe. “No dangerous animals!” Fine! They didn’t tell me about the spiders and the rats in my house!! On Saturday I wondered why my choclate bar was on the floor. I looked at the open side but could not see that it looked any different from how I left it, so I took a piece and put it back on the bedside table. Then I went out on my balcony. After a while I heard some sounds from the inside of my hut. Until then I had thougt that all sounds I heard came from geckos or birds on the outside of the straw roof, but now it definetly came from the inside. I looked in and saw a BIG fat rat running away. Then I had a second look at the chocolate bar and noticed that the little bastard had opened it from the other side and eaten quite some. The taste of chocolate that I still had in my mouth was not so nice anymore…

That night when I went to bed I saw that there was not only a big fat spinder on the outside of my mosquito net, but one on the inside too. Was not too happy about that. Everytime the rat woke me up that night I also had to have a check on where that spinder was. I was most worried when I did not see it…


My hut, the one to the right












The old nags we were riding. I rode the brown one in the middle, Joka.

Weekend plans

On my lunchbreak I passed the sport club to pick up some tennisballs, as I am playing with a colleague today after work. Then I realised THAT is the time to be at the club, not after work. There were a lot of guys without shirts playing rugby… And for those of you who still remember the football match at Salas….:-) This time I did not laugh and whished I would have had my camera! Anyway, I changed the time for my tennis lession tomorrow and will play a couple of hours earlier….;-)

After that I will leave Harare for a safari weekend at the Pamuzinda Safari Lodge. Saar, they have horse back riding safaris! :-) But I guess I should not try to make you jealous in advance this time. I still remember the rain, the storm and the food poisoning I got last time I did something like that, when I went to Boracay.

Tonight I will go to ZIFF, Zimbabwe International Film Festival (http://www.ziff.co.zw). It has been on a couple of days, but this far I haven’t seen any films. I was planning to go and see some African films as you don’t get then too often in Europe. But shame on me…. To night there is the launch of the Swedish contribution, so it is more or less work. The film is called Zozo.

I am a little disappointed. I was looking forward to going to Victoria Falls this weekend, but all flights are full! :-( Now I have to come up with another trip that is feasible over a weekend and with short notice. Any suggestions?

It also means I will most probably have to stay here a little longer as I really want to go to Vic Falls! Anyway, I am seriously thinking about if this is not the right time to go off on a around-the-world-trip. Anyone who wants to join?!

Oh! I have forgotten to update you on the latest news in The Herald. This weekend there was a priest who had run away to South Africa with the wife of a member of his church. Just a year earlier the very same pastor was the one who wed the two. The whole issue was about to split the congregation in two. Monday, the top article on the first page was about a Harare town clerk who accused his wife of breaking down their marriage because she was having an affair with a colleague and the parties were mutually claiming money from the other. This is the top news of a main news paper! Just above the article on the opening of the opening of the Harare Agricultural Show by, the president of Botswana Festus Mogae.

This morning I read about an other suicide on the front page. Two brothers had been quarreling over a piece of land for some time and now the fight ended (after a beer drinking session) with one of the brothers killing himself by stabbing himself several times in the stomach with a screw driver…..
I mean, I think in Sweden the surviving brother would at least have been investigated about the incident…

The Herald ended the article by encouraging people not to end fights with suicide, but instead seek the advise of elders or even the police. That is very wise and considerate, isn't it.

Some more picts

This is the bunch of "bearer's checks" that I spent the first three days here in Harare, five million zimdollars, before Operation Sunshine, when three zeroes were cut away and new bearers checks were issued, n.b. they are not called notes, but bearer's checks.




The Old Hararian's Sports Club




The pool and a part of "my" garden.


The front of "my" house and in front of that the "little" dog.

Names

This summer has made me think about names and why we have the names we have. Ok, the answer might be obvious, in most cases we have the names our parents gave us, but why exactly this name? The reason why I have been thinking about it this summer is that I have come upon names that to me seem very unusual and/or funny.

For all the differences between Philippines and Zimbabwe, the two countries have actually more similarities than I would ever have guessed (more on these similarities and differences in a later blog). For example both countries are to a rather big part English speaking, although it is not the “native” language and many have English names, but not only the average John, Mary, Jack and Jill. No, the namnes are much more creative, and the fact that they are in English makes it possible for me to understand them. In both these countries I have met people named things like; Lovely, Precious, Lovemore, Energy, Honest, Prudence, Marvelous and Godwell. That made me wonder if the name has any influence on who we become, or if it is only the hope of our parents that are reflected in the names they give us, and that they might in some cases get very disappointed...

Someone told me, that here in Zimbabwe the name might reflect the situation or feelings at the time of birth of the child. That makes you really wonder what went on the day the Godknows was born. And it makes you kind of feeling sorry for poor Loveless…

I also wonder if we would have been the same persons if we had other names. Both in the Philippines and in Zimbabwe people very often ask you for your name. Ok, if it is someone I know and someone I know I will have more contact to of course I take the time to explain my name, but for some small talk in the taxi or in a line or a shop, I just cannot be bothered making anyone understand my name. And I can assure you that if I would have persisted on giving the staff at Starbuck’s my normal name, I would have had to drink cold coffee the whole time in Manila… So, what I have done is that in situations like that I have used my second name, Susanne, which is much more internationally viable. It is really my second name, so it is not as if I am lying, but that is exactly the way it feels.

The first weekend in Manila I was out travelling together with a Swedish guy I met on the plane to Manila. He had much the same problem, his name is Torben. He also used the same method. He used his second name Michael. So there were not Gudrun and Torben travelling together but Susanne and Michael. Does it matter??