I've got a Samba Problem

I realise I have a samba-problem! Not only because samba is difficult, which it is, but I also have a more general dancing problem. I love dancing! But I prefer to dance on my own, in my own style. I have never liked or even understood the point in this couple-dancing, where the woman is supposed to follow the man, whether he is a good dancer or not. Why is that?! That is so old-fashioned!!
Here I totally accept that everyone dances “better” than I do, and I also realise that people are only trying to be nice when they try to teach me how to dance and give me lessons. But that doesn’t mean that they all are great teachers. Most of the times they just make me feel very clumsy and useless as a dancer and that is really no fun, when you are out for a good time with your friends. As they realise I am a beginner and foreigner they slow down the speed and fall back to the “one-two-one-two” and “look at my feet” but to me that only means I get completely stiff and loose contact to the rhythm of the music and it all gets very much worse.
As long as I am allowed to dance on my own (or with a very good dancer) it is all just fine, but when things like these happen I rather don’t dance at all.

This is nothing new. I hate “ballroom-dancing” back home in Sweden too and at weddings or parties where that kind of dancing might be expected I always come up with excused for not dancing when someone asks me to dance. Here that seems very much ruder, especially as I don’t know the language so I can make myself understood. And here at least I like the music and like to dance to it, as long as I can decide for myself when and where to move my feet!